Long time no update....

Hey! I got a spiffy new layout thing, rearranged some stuff...this thing was definitely in need of a makeover! I think it looks a lot better now, don't you? :)

So...since I last updated here, I saw Bon Jovi and the Gaslight Anthem in concert, both amazing shows! Other than that, not much goes on with me. I see my Alex as often as I can, I hang with my friends, I waste far too much time online.

I am still not working. Back in June, I was told by one of my managers (two have been transferred to the Pawtucket store, so it's nearby, plus the other two managers used to be at my store too, it's nice to know everyone in charge!) that he'd heard we were opening in August. Well, August has come and nearly gone, and there's been zero work on the building. It is completely gutted, no ceilings, no walls, etc. I guess as of June they were still accepting construction bids. I went in to the Pawtucket store today and talked to Mike again. Now he says we won't be ready to go in and set up to re-open until "at least October". Something about inspections and such before they can start the construction work. What the hell!!!

Keep in mind, I've been out since March 30th. That's 5 months laid off so far, and at least 2 more to go? ARGH, is all I can really say. I am so upset.

I actually miss work, I never thought I'd say that! I miss pricing shoes and doing returns, I miss hiding in my stockroom to sneakily read a few pages of a book or to sing along to the radio, I miss cashiering, I miss gossiping with my amazing crazy coworkers....I cannot wait to go back so I hope it's soon. Because aside from being bored and lonely, I am also broke. Unemployment is not the best way to make money, as opposed to what my father believes. I get maybe 3/4 of what I'd usually make in a week when I was at work.

Ugh. Ramble over.

In other news, I am now a certifiable wench! Well, the wench part is questionable but I am most definitely certifiable...just kidding XD I will be blogging for my friend Andrea's very cool blog The Certifiable Wenches. So, hopefully I will find some fun stuff to write about there! You should all go check it out! Even though I don't think anyone reads this...oh well. If you do, I appreciate it!

I guess that's all, for now anyway :)

~*Eliza*~

concerts are awesome, my boyfriend is better, but life sucks otherwise.

It's been over 2 months since I've updated...a lot has gone on since then...I've been to, like, 3 concerts since then (mc chris, the National, and Meat Loaf), all with my awesome boyfriend Alex. I have the best boyfriend ever. I really can't stress that enough. He's amazing. Next week is our 6-month anniversary ♥

I've finally got the Bon Jovi concert coming up on Saturday! I bought my ticket, like, 10 months ago, haha. I can't wait!!! Then next Saturday I'm going to see the Gaslight Anthem with my Alex! And the day before that I'm going to a reading/signing for Carl Hiaasen's new book! He hasn't had an adult novel since 'Nature Girl' which came out like 3 or 4 years ago, so I'm excited! And I'm way psyched to meet him :D

I'm still out of work, it's been nearly 4 months. Ugh. I'm hearing we're supposed to open back up in August but I dunno when. I hope it's soon! I'm going nuts. My family is terrible. I can't deal. My dad still won't get a job, my mother works two and takes all her shit out on me...I can't do this. I finally got my permit so once I get my license I am getting a car and an apartment and I'm getting the fuck out of here and never looking back.

I only have one good thing in my life, which is enough to balance everything out for now...I don't know how much longer I can last.

boring but beautiful day

Hi!

No one reads this except Alex, so I'm not quite sure why I bother to write here since he also reads my livejournal, but whatever!!!

Today should be a good day. The weather is absolutely gorgeous!! And I have nothing to do, really, except go to the Time capsule and get my free comic books since it's Free Comic Book Day! It's also Beltane, so blessed Beltane to all you fellow Pagans out there :)

And then later I am going to hang out with my alex, which will be wonderful and amazing because spending time with him is the best thing in the world :)

I never have anything interesting to write about!

a short update...

Not much is going on with me.

Still have no money. Home situation still sucks. My Alex is still the most amazing boyfriend in the universe.

Tif and the girls were down for a few days so I chilled with them, and also my cousin Tammy and her kids. I met my baby cousin Jonathan, who is the cutest, most awesome baby ever!

Did my taxes, I'm getting $736 from federal and $250 from the state. That's awesome! Totally going into my getting-an-apartment-with-Nicole fund. Which'll hopefully be as soon as possible, she's graduating college next month, so...yeah I need to get the hell out of my house as soon as possible.

I guess that's it.

life. blargh.

My dearest says I neglect this thing. I really do. But I never have anything interesting to say!

A few weeks ago, we went up to Vermont for a few days to stay with my cousin/best friend Tiffany. We went to Burlington, had ice cream, sat on a gravestone shaped like an armchair, I got my first tattoo....good times :D

RI had a huge flood. Like, really bad. Building 19 was underwater, so I am unemployed for an indeterminate amount of time. Everything is sanitized now, it took a while but I think it's done. Now the walls, floor, ceiling, etc need to be completely replaced. After all that, they'll be calling employees in to go through and get rid of damaged goods, get new goods, and restock the store. So. It's gonna be a while. I am currently on unemployment, but haven't seen any money yet because at least half the state was unemployed before the flood so of course now it's far worse.

But I am enjoying all of the free time, because I spend as much of it as I can with my lovely, amazingly wonderful boyfriend Alex. Being with him is my favorite thing in the whole world. There's nothing like the feeling I get just being close to him, being held by him, kissing him....I am a sap. But we all know that by now. I love being a sappy dork. I am sappier than a maple tree :)

My mother is a bitch. Not a new fact. But even though I have no money, she still tries to get it out of me. Hello, I've got about $10 to my name, stop trying to mooch off me. Also, she tried to throw me out because she thought I was having sex. I am an ADULT. Who pays rent. And it's none of her fucking business (or, my fucking is none of her business?) what I do or don't do. She needs to learn to let me grow up. And to shut the hell up about everything.

Ugh I cannot wait to eventually move out. I vow to never talk to my parents again once I am free.

Goals:
~get my permit/learn how to drive

~exercise more (I have been walking a lot lately, since I hate being stuck in the house with my lazy asshole of a father)

~drink more water (Alex will probably yell at me if I don't!)

~read more. I've been neglecting books lately, since there's a nifty invention called a TV that I haven't used in a while.

~clean as much of the house as I can (even though it's not my mess...even though my mother says it is)

~try not to let my parents get to me (hardest thing on the list, by far)

~accept and like myself for who I am (I'm trying, really I am...I'm better than I was a year ago, at least)

~save more money (this is tough, considering I now have no income)

I want to be driving and moved out in the next 6-8 months. I wish it could be sooner than that, like today, but there's waiting periods for licenses and crap, plus I have no money to get a car/apartment/a ride downtown on the bus.

It is extremely hard to stay positive in this situation, with shitty parents and no income and no money to help pay the bills, so we may lose the house (or the car again).

But I am trying. To be positive, to survive, to not go insane.

And that's all I can really do.

stress kills

Today was a bad day. My life is stressing me out to the point where if I didn't have my amazing boyfriend, the one good thing in my life, I would probably kill myself.

To start off with, my mom's car got repossessed a few days ago and she was told today that unless she pays about $1500 by the end of the month, they'll sell it. Obviously, we aren't getting it back. Add to that my dad's unemployment payments stop next week. Tuesday is when he'll get his last check, and we don't think they'll extend his benefits again since they already did it once. So we will be living on my mom's and my own part-time paychecks. I make about $130 a week, she makes around the same. We can't pay bills with that. We can't pay bills now with my dad's unemployment money coming in. We are extremely close to losing the house, and when that happens, I don't know what I'm going to do.

In addition to all of the stress going on at home, work has been hell this week. I had the most major markdown of the year, slippers and boots, which take up about 1/3 of my whole department. I had to mark everything down, and count it up, by myself. In 20 hours a week. In addition to ringing a register, cleaning half the store, maintaining my department, doing returns, price checks....it is impossible. My papaerwork was supposed to be finished and handed in by tonight and needless to say, it wasn't done. I broke down earlier, my shoe-boss felt bad for me. I was crying, blubbering, hyperventilating. She, surprisingly enough, realized I have anxiety. I guess her kids have it so she sympathized. It didn't make me feel any better about not getting shit done, though. No matter how much or how little work I have, I feel bad about not completing it. I feel like I'm not doing my job.

So this week has been just fucking peachy. The only highlights were the Ataris concert on Sunday (I met Kris Roe! *fangirly squee*), "Alice In Wonderland" on Monday, and video gaming on Wednesday. Andthose things would not have been nearly as fun and awesome had my love not been there. I don't know what I would do without him, he is the only thing holding me together right now.

I suppose that's all for now.

Long time no write...

Hey! My dashboard thingy says I haven't updated this since May 1st of last year (and that was just an ad for Green Day's last album, I haven't properly updated since long before that)! That is way too long, soooo much has happened since then, so I should probably update! I kinda want to delete everything else in here, and I just might, since it was all silly meaningless crap anyway. But I went back through and read some of it, and meh, I may keep it in here, if only because I'm too lazy to go through and manually delete stuff.

So, what has gone on with me? Let's see.

I've changed jobs, I left the library in October '08, and started as a cashier at Building 19 a few weeks before that. I've been there for nearly a year and a half, and now I run the shoe department. A thankless job, that is, but I'll put up with it until something better comes along. "I'm looking for the next best thing", to quote the fantastic Mr. Zevon. I've been to numerous concerts, far too many to mention. Namely, I saw my idol Billy Joel, finally, on July 28th of last year. He played with Elton John, and it was the most amazing night of my life so far.

I went on my first date in July, as well. Yes, first date ever, at 20 years old, because I am a loser. It was with a guy that I'd had a crush on since 9th grade. 7 years is a long time. He'd just graduated college and came back to RI, so we chatted via Facebook and whatnot. We went out a few times, and he was my first kiss (and second). We didn't see too much of each other in the 5 or so months we dated, and we decided that we are better off as friends because we want different things. He's a good guy, I wish him nothing but the best.

I went to Vermont for the week of my birthday to stay with my cousin Tiffany, she's been living up there for over a year now. It was so much fun! I miss her like hell, she is my best friend.

The best thing to happen to me last year (actually, probably the best thing ever) was the result of boredom. I like to go through Craigslist and laugh at the lame/weird/creepy personal ads. Well, I stumbled across one that sounded like it could've been written by me, it quoted lyrics, and oh it was just perfect! I debated with myself for over a week about whether or not to reply, and I decided to take the chance. It is the best thing I have ever done, because I met my amazing boyfriend Alex. My first boyfriend, and I hope that things work out and we can make it last. I don't know what I would do without him. He actually likes me, the way I am. With my severe self-esteem issues and social anxiety, I am not used to that. I don't think I deserve anyone half as wonderful as him, but I have fallen head over heels for him...I am probably just setting myself up to get hurt, but for once I don't mind taking the risk. He is worth everything. Everything seems to be going wrong in my life lately, but he is the one person I can depend on to be there for me, no matter what. I don't know why he wants to be with me, what he sees in me, but I guess I should shut up and enjoy it while it lasts! I have never been so happy in my entire life. Everyone I know has noticed a change in me! It's a bizzare thing, but wonderful. Just sitting with him, holding hands, not having to say anything...that is enough for me :D

So, all things considered, 2009 was very good to me. 2010 has been pretty great so far. Things coming up that I am particularly looking forward to: seeing the Ataris in concert (for the second time) next Sunday, a trip to Vermont with Alex in a few weeks, seeing Bon Jovi play at Gillette Stadium in July, and all of the fun things I will do with my friends. A new decade, a new beginning. I am going to make the next 10 years, and the remainder of this year in particular, something I'll always want to remember.

~*Eliza*~

Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown

I can't believe it's been 5 years already...

Five years ago today, the world lost one of it's most talented, diverse, and genius singer/songwriters. Mesothelioma took the life of the great Warren Zevon when he was just 56 years old. His song topics ran from war to love to gorillas stealing people's glasses, he could sing in more than 3 languages, his lyrics are sharply witty and so sarcastic, but he could also play the sweetest, most touching melodies. He could do rock, folk, country, a little celtic, he would add so many sounds to his music. No two of his songs ever sounded alike.

I wasn't a huge fan of Warren's until a little over a year ago, but "Werewolves Of London" has been one of my all-time favorite songs my whole life, and I remember watching VH1's documentary on him shortly before his death in 2003. I remember crying my eyes out when I heard that he had passed, even though he lasted almost a year longer than the three months his doctors gave him to live. In those last few months, he did the arguably most unselfish thing I've ever heard of: he resisted treatments so he could deliver a last album as a goodbye to all of his fans. I usually can't listen to that album, because the whole thing makes me bawl my eyes out, every single time, especially the last track: "Keep Me In Your Heart".

But I had to listen to it today, because I used my newly-acquired Windows Movie Maker to put together a tribute video in honor of the 5th anniversary of the passing of my idol, the one musician who can make me laugh and cry, think and learn, all with one song.


(this is my first video, so I would greatly appreciate some feedback, thanks!)

Warren was brilliant, a genius, there are really no other words for him. You cannot judge him on his one hit, which is pretty much one of his worst songs, comparing it lyrics- and music-wise to the rest of his song catalog. He has so many songs that could have been, should have been, successful. He is one of those people who truly deserved recognition. But he had one hell of a life. He is one person who couldn't say that he never enjoyed himself. He had fun while he was here, as his song goes "I'll sleep when I'm dead!"

Though he was, to steal another lyric, "too old to die young, and too young to die now", it's good that he's finally getting some well-deserved rest :D


Warren William Zevon
January 24, 1947 - September 7, 2003

----------------
Now playing: Warren Zevon - Desperados Under the Eaves
via FoxyTunes

Please Click This!!!

Friday Fiver - week 1

from The Daily Meme

1. Favorite shoes?
well my favorite brand is either Converse or Vans, and I have a favorite pair of each. My favorite converses are the peanut butter-colored high-tops I bought in Cape Cod, and my favorite pair of Vans are the pink & white slip-ons with penguins!

2. What time does the sun set near you?
since it's winter, it's been going down around 4:30-ish, but in the summer it goes down a lot later.

3. Do you like spending time in the sun?
not really, especially in summer because I burn terribly.

4. Do you burn or tan?
I burn, badly. Because I'm deathly pale.

5. Monopoly: yay! or no way!
Yay, definitely! Though I prefer the online/handheld version to the actual board game, because whenever I play the board game I end up fighting with the other palyers XD

a little late, but...Booking Through Thursday - week 1

from The Daily Meme

Have you ever fallen out of love with a favorite author? Was the last book you read by the author so bad, you broke up with them and haven’t read their work since? Could they ever lure you back?

I haven't fallen out of love with any authors, but I have become disinterested in a few for no reason other than I found other more interesting authors. I was obsessed with Mary Higgins Clark all through middle school, I even went to a book signing and got to meet her. But after a while I realized all of her stories were basically the same, just with different names and places. Her newest book, I've Heard That Song Before, is tempting but I've found so many fresh books to read, I don't know if I'll waste my time with it. I also used to love Robin Cook, but he only writes medical thrillers, and trying to understand the really big words gets kind of old after a while XD

Writing Wednesday - 1

Writing Wednesday supplies a beginning. All you need to do to play is supply an end. Be as creative as you like - it's all up to you!

Valentine's Day - love it or hate it?

Well, I like it because my mom always gets me candy and a little gift.

But I hate it, mostly. I've never had a valentine :( Pretty sad I know, but I'm dull and apparently don't attract the opposite sex. All through school I rarely got valentines cards, even though I used to give everyone in my classes one. I used to only get a few from my friends because they felt bad for me.

So, it really only reminds me how undesirable I am. Not my favorite holiday.

Situation Sunday week 1

I've got to start blogging in this thing again, so I figure some memes should get me going! From The Daily Meme

Situations:

1} You are living in a small city. Your yard is all fenced in. One day you are out fiddling around your garden, and your back gate quickly opens up...a man is there and quickly as he can closes the gate and approaches you. It is the President of your country. He explains to you all of his body gaurds are dead,,,,and now "They" are after him. As you ask him to define "They", he exclaims not now please...Hide me! You have your loved ones in side.......What do you do?

It depends on how I feel about the guy...like if it were President Bush, I'd say hell no and leave him there. But if it were someone I liked who made my country better than I would probably let him in.

2} You have a half sister, just by a remarriage of your father. She is 44 years old, {her blood mother excluded her from the will when she died} She has been in and out of rehabs,,,....Well she has straightened out for the most part....married and struggling between jobs. She has asked if she can live with you till she & hubby gets on her feet. She was just living with her blood sister, but she kicked them out. What do you do?

Say that I'd like to help but she has proven time and time again that she cannot be trusted to do the right thing. If everyone else is kicking her out, then there must be a problem.

3} You have just found a treasure chest worth 5 million. Easy spending it with out any questions. But there has been a notice around searching for it for years, a reward of a half a million.......What do you do?

First I'd think about keeping it, but then become so overcome by guilt that I'd turn it in.

Unbelievably sad....RIP.

As I'm sure most of you have heard by now, actor Heath Ledger died today. He was only 28 years old. This is the second time this week that a talented young actor has been taken from this world (Brad Renfro died last Tuesday, he was only 25 years old). I don't know why I'm so unbelievably torn up about Heath's death, maybe because it's so tragic and such a shock. I've never been a huge fan but I've always liked his movies, especially 10 Things I Hate About You. And I was really looking forward to seeing him as the Joker with Christian Bale in The Dark Knight. Now I don't know if I'll go see it. For some reason or another, hearing about his death has just hit me so hard. I've been seeing it on gossip blogs and the news all day and I cry every time.

It's just so unbelievable. He was only 28 years old, and he has a beautiful little daughter. He actually had talent, unlike some of the young actors today *cough*Lindsay Lohan*cough*. And the truly sad thing is that he was just really starting to be noticed, since Brokeback Mountain in 2005. He was really going places and would have gone on to do some truly great things had his life not been cut so tragically short.

The main gossip going around is that he killed himself by overdosing on pills, whether it's accidental or intentional is not known. But he also had pneumonia so possibly the pills screwed with his already sick body and caused complications. I guess the autopsy is set for tomorrow so more will be known soon. But whatever it was, it's just so tragic.

RIP Heath Ledger, 4/4/1979 - 1/22/2008.

Christmas and such.

Wow, I haven't written in here in a while. Maybe because nothing notable really happens in my life.

New obsession: Jimmy Stewart.

Oh my god he was such an amazing actor (and cute!). They just don't make movies like his anymore, and it's sad. Stuff from the 30s and 40s is the best. My Jimmy obsession has helped me discover some truly amazing classic films. So that's good. You just don't find actors like Jimmy Stewart anymore.

Blah. Movies suck so hard nowadays, it's hard to sift through all the teen sex comedies and violent action movies and gory horror crap to actually find a decent movie. Occasionally you find one, but good movies are getting rarer.

But let's not get me started on that topic, because I could go on forever.

Anyhoo, Christmas. It was hectic, I'm broke, I spent time with some family members that I dislike, and I'm glad it's over.

Here's the stuff that I got, because that's all Christmas seems to be about anymore.

From my parents:
~Pirates Of The Caribbean 3: At World's End (the 2-disc special edition!)
~a POTC shirt w/ Johnny Depp on it <3333
~SpongeBob hot cocoa & mug set
~fleece Happy Bunny pajamas
~$20 Bath & Body Works gift card
~gold claddagh earrings <333
~Life Magazine's The Most Notorious Crimes In American History

From my cousins:
~$25 Borders gift card

From co-workers:
~crate of clementines (Pat)
~Chipmunks Christmas CD (Pat)
~pretty nail polish and pretty headband (Pat)
~cookies (Stef, Karen)
~candy (Maria, and Bob though he doesn't work with us)

So what did you guys get, anything good? I hope you all had a nice holiday!

And Happy New Year to all of you if I don't post here again before then! :)

<3 Eliza

Official Iron Man Trailer!!!!!

Watch Robert Downey Jr In Official Iron Man Trailer

RIP Warren Zevon, 1/24/1947-9/7/2003

Unique. Quirky. Absolutely Genius.

My idol.

I can't believe it's been 4 years since he's been gone.

But I listen to him every day, so it's like he never left.

His music was so different than anything else, I miss it.

I miss him.

You were "too old to die young but too young to die now."

Rest in peace, Warren.

Why Today Sucked

1. I worked 4 hours, blah. Didn't get a chance to sit down once. My legs are killing me.

2. My cousin Tif was supposed to meet me at the library at 2 but missed her bus twice so I waited at work forever for nothing.

3. When Tif got to my house, she had one of her kids with her (Alice, who's not as much of a problem as the other one), I'd figured it'd be just the 2 of us. So I had to keep Allie occupied so, I still didn't get a chance to rest for 5 minutes.

4. Tif got into a huge screaming/swearing match with my bitch of a neighbor that already hates my family. Tif had every right to flip out at her, but I fear retaliation, such as animal control or city hall stopping by sometime next week to harass us some more.

5. My dog Rosey got sprayed by a skunk in my backyard. The yard, the dog, and the house reek so badly my eyes are still watering. I had to rub her down in tomato juice but I smell like crap and she still smells too (but not nearly as bad).

6. Alice slammed my elbow in the car door when we went to Shaws. Not purposely (I was reaching in to lock it and she closed it on me, she loves closing the car door), but it still freaking hurts and is still swelling. Hit my damn funny bone! I had frozen raspberries on it while we were in the store, swelling went down a little, but it hurts like hell and it's starting to bruise. I don't want to think about how it will feel tomorrow.

I do believe Warren Zevon's lyrics are quite fitting for my crappy day:

This just ain't gonna be my day
Trouble waiting to happen
Things just ain't gonna go my way
Trouble waiting to happen
I'd write this down if I could hold a pen
I might get better but I don't know when
So I'm gonna wait right here 'til then
Trouble waiting to happen

Look at all of the fun things...

I made on imagechef.com!!!







Go to imagechef.com, it's pretty much the most funnest thing ever!

<3 Eliza