Today was a bad day. My life is stressing me out to the point where if I didn't have my amazing boyfriend, the one good thing in my life, I would probably kill myself.
To start off with, my mom's car got repossessed a few days ago and she was told today that unless she pays about $1500 by the end of the month, they'll sell it. Obviously, we aren't getting it back. Add to that my dad's unemployment payments stop next week. Tuesday is when he'll get his last check, and we don't think they'll extend his benefits again since they already did it once. So we will be living on my mom's and my own part-time paychecks. I make about $130 a week, she makes around the same. We can't pay bills with that. We can't pay bills now with my dad's unemployment money coming in. We are extremely close to losing the house, and when that happens, I don't know what I'm going to do.
In addition to all of the stress going on at home, work has been hell this week. I had the most major markdown of the year, slippers and boots, which take up about 1/3 of my whole department. I had to mark everything down, and count it up, by myself. In 20 hours a week. In addition to ringing a register, cleaning half the store, maintaining my department, doing returns, price checks....it is impossible. My papaerwork was supposed to be finished and handed in by tonight and needless to say, it wasn't done. I broke down earlier, my shoe-boss felt bad for me. I was crying, blubbering, hyperventilating. She, surprisingly enough, realized I have anxiety. I guess her kids have it so she sympathized. It didn't make me feel any better about not getting shit done, though. No matter how much or how little work I have, I feel bad about not completing it. I feel like I'm not doing my job.
So this week has been just fucking peachy. The only highlights were the Ataris concert on Sunday (I met Kris Roe! *fangirly squee*), "Alice In Wonderland" on Monday, and video gaming on Wednesday. Andthose things would not have been nearly as fun and awesome had my love not been there. I don't know what I would do without him, he is the only thing holding me together right now.
I suppose that's all for now.
2 comments:
Hey, love. Shitty situation is shitty. Don't kill yourself, please. I would miss you terribly.
I think it's ridiculous they won't extend his benefits anymore. Freakin' economy. Then, again, it's ridiculous he doesn't seem particularly keen on, y'know, working.
But... okay, it might not be the *best* of all possible situations, but if you need a place to live... my basement's not half bad. You could stay here for a while if you needed to; you'd probably have to take the bus to work most of the time, and kick in a little bit to help us, and I dunno what you'd do with your pets or your parents, but. It's an option. Wherever I am, you're welcome.
Work? Shit. That's crazy.
But do *not* feel bad for not getting things done. You've done the best you can... it's not your fault.
And those three days were great! I do adore anything I do with you. <3
I'm glad to see you writing again. I hope someday soon you can write about more positive things. I really feel like if you get all this shit behind you, I dunno. You have a lot of potential for a good life and a good future.
I can't help thinking you were put on this globe for a better, happier life than this.
Love always, Alex.
You were the only thing topping me from thinking of it. honestly. I have been left behind too many times and I could never do that to you. I love you far too much.
We aren't sure if they won't or not, we are hoping that they do. I am trying to stay positive about it. The way the economy is going downhill more and more each day, I don't see why they wouldn't extend it. Even though he really needs to get off his ass and try harder to get a job.
Thank you darling. You don't know how much that means to me and even though I hope things don't get that bad, I will keep it in mind :)
Work is ridiculous, but it worked itself out. I just have a bad habit of letting everything get to me.
I will write only positive things from now on. Like, about you, since you are the most positive influence in my life pretty much ever. I love you so much <3
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