Hi!
No one reads this except Alex, so I'm not quite sure why I bother to write here since he also reads my livejournal, but whatever!!!
Today should be a good day. The weather is absolutely gorgeous!! And I have nothing to do, really, except go to the Time capsule and get my free comic books since it's Free Comic Book Day! It's also Beltane, so blessed Beltane to all you fellow Pagans out there :)
And then later I am going to hang out with my alex, which will be wonderful and amazing because spending time with him is the best thing in the world :)
I never have anything interesting to write about!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
a short update...
Not much is going on with me.
Still have no money. Home situation still sucks. My Alex is still the most amazing boyfriend in the universe.
Tif and the girls were down for a few days so I chilled with them, and also my cousin Tammy and her kids. I met my baby cousin Jonathan, who is the cutest, most awesome baby ever!
Did my taxes, I'm getting $736 from federal and $250 from the state. That's awesome! Totally going into my getting-an-apartment-with-Nicole fund. Which'll hopefully be as soon as possible, she's graduating college next month, so...yeah I need to get the hell out of my house as soon as possible.
I guess that's it.
Still have no money. Home situation still sucks. My Alex is still the most amazing boyfriend in the universe.
Tif and the girls were down for a few days so I chilled with them, and also my cousin Tammy and her kids. I met my baby cousin Jonathan, who is the cutest, most awesome baby ever!
Did my taxes, I'm getting $736 from federal and $250 from the state. That's awesome! Totally going into my getting-an-apartment-with-Nicole fund. Which'll hopefully be as soon as possible, she's graduating college next month, so...yeah I need to get the hell out of my house as soon as possible.
I guess that's it.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
life. blargh.
My dearest says I neglect this thing. I really do. But I never have anything interesting to say!
A few weeks ago, we went up to Vermont for a few days to stay with my cousin/best friend Tiffany. We went to Burlington, had ice cream, sat on a gravestone shaped like an armchair, I got my first tattoo....good times :D
RI had a huge flood. Like, really bad. Building 19 was underwater, so I am unemployed for an indeterminate amount of time. Everything is sanitized now, it took a while but I think it's done. Now the walls, floor, ceiling, etc need to be completely replaced. After all that, they'll be calling employees in to go through and get rid of damaged goods, get new goods, and restock the store. So. It's gonna be a while. I am currently on unemployment, but haven't seen any money yet because at least half the state was unemployed before the flood so of course now it's far worse.
But I am enjoying all of the free time, because I spend as much of it as I can with my lovely, amazingly wonderful boyfriend Alex. Being with him is my favorite thing in the whole world. There's nothing like the feeling I get just being close to him, being held by him, kissing him....I am a sap. But we all know that by now. I love being a sappy dork. I am sappier than a maple tree :)
My mother is a bitch. Not a new fact. But even though I have no money, she still tries to get it out of me. Hello, I've got about $10 to my name, stop trying to mooch off me. Also, she tried to throw me out because she thought I was having sex. I am an ADULT. Who pays rent. And it's none of her fucking business (or, my fucking is none of her business?) what I do or don't do. She needs to learn to let me grow up. And to shut the hell up about everything.
Ugh I cannot wait to eventually move out. I vow to never talk to my parents again once I am free.
Goals:
~get my permit/learn how to drive
~exercise more (I have been walking a lot lately, since I hate being stuck in the house with my lazy asshole of a father)
~drink more water (Alex will probably yell at me if I don't!)
~read more. I've been neglecting books lately, since there's a nifty invention called a TV that I haven't used in a while.
~clean as much of the house as I can (even though it's not my mess...even though my mother says it is)
~try not to let my parents get to me (hardest thing on the list, by far)
~accept and like myself for who I am (I'm trying, really I am...I'm better than I was a year ago, at least)
~save more money (this is tough, considering I now have no income)
I want to be driving and moved out in the next 6-8 months. I wish it could be sooner than that, like today, but there's waiting periods for licenses and crap, plus I have no money to get a car/apartment/a ride downtown on the bus.
It is extremely hard to stay positive in this situation, with shitty parents and no income and no money to help pay the bills, so we may lose the house (or the car again).
But I am trying. To be positive, to survive, to not go insane.
And that's all I can really do.
A few weeks ago, we went up to Vermont for a few days to stay with my cousin/best friend Tiffany. We went to Burlington, had ice cream, sat on a gravestone shaped like an armchair, I got my first tattoo....good times :D
RI had a huge flood. Like, really bad. Building 19 was underwater, so I am unemployed for an indeterminate amount of time. Everything is sanitized now, it took a while but I think it's done. Now the walls, floor, ceiling, etc need to be completely replaced. After all that, they'll be calling employees in to go through and get rid of damaged goods, get new goods, and restock the store. So. It's gonna be a while. I am currently on unemployment, but haven't seen any money yet because at least half the state was unemployed before the flood so of course now it's far worse.
But I am enjoying all of the free time, because I spend as much of it as I can with my lovely, amazingly wonderful boyfriend Alex. Being with him is my favorite thing in the whole world. There's nothing like the feeling I get just being close to him, being held by him, kissing him....I am a sap. But we all know that by now. I love being a sappy dork. I am sappier than a maple tree :)
My mother is a bitch. Not a new fact. But even though I have no money, she still tries to get it out of me. Hello, I've got about $10 to my name, stop trying to mooch off me. Also, she tried to throw me out because she thought I was having sex. I am an ADULT. Who pays rent. And it's none of her fucking business (or, my fucking is none of her business?) what I do or don't do. She needs to learn to let me grow up. And to shut the hell up about everything.
Ugh I cannot wait to eventually move out. I vow to never talk to my parents again once I am free.
Goals:
~get my permit/learn how to drive
~exercise more (I have been walking a lot lately, since I hate being stuck in the house with my lazy asshole of a father)
~drink more water (Alex will probably yell at me if I don't!)
~read more. I've been neglecting books lately, since there's a nifty invention called a TV that I haven't used in a while.
~clean as much of the house as I can (even though it's not my mess...even though my mother says it is)
~try not to let my parents get to me (hardest thing on the list, by far)
~accept and like myself for who I am (I'm trying, really I am...I'm better than I was a year ago, at least)
~save more money (this is tough, considering I now have no income)
I want to be driving and moved out in the next 6-8 months. I wish it could be sooner than that, like today, but there's waiting periods for licenses and crap, plus I have no money to get a car/apartment/a ride downtown on the bus.
It is extremely hard to stay positive in this situation, with shitty parents and no income and no money to help pay the bills, so we may lose the house (or the car again).
But I am trying. To be positive, to survive, to not go insane.
And that's all I can really do.
Friday, March 12, 2010
stress kills
Today was a bad day. My life is stressing me out to the point where if I didn't have my amazing boyfriend, the one good thing in my life, I would probably kill myself.
To start off with, my mom's car got repossessed a few days ago and she was told today that unless she pays about $1500 by the end of the month, they'll sell it. Obviously, we aren't getting it back. Add to that my dad's unemployment payments stop next week. Tuesday is when he'll get his last check, and we don't think they'll extend his benefits again since they already did it once. So we will be living on my mom's and my own part-time paychecks. I make about $130 a week, she makes around the same. We can't pay bills with that. We can't pay bills now with my dad's unemployment money coming in. We are extremely close to losing the house, and when that happens, I don't know what I'm going to do.
In addition to all of the stress going on at home, work has been hell this week. I had the most major markdown of the year, slippers and boots, which take up about 1/3 of my whole department. I had to mark everything down, and count it up, by myself. In 20 hours a week. In addition to ringing a register, cleaning half the store, maintaining my department, doing returns, price checks....it is impossible. My papaerwork was supposed to be finished and handed in by tonight and needless to say, it wasn't done. I broke down earlier, my shoe-boss felt bad for me. I was crying, blubbering, hyperventilating. She, surprisingly enough, realized I have anxiety. I guess her kids have it so she sympathized. It didn't make me feel any better about not getting shit done, though. No matter how much or how little work I have, I feel bad about not completing it. I feel like I'm not doing my job.
So this week has been just fucking peachy. The only highlights were the Ataris concert on Sunday (I met Kris Roe! *fangirly squee*), "Alice In Wonderland" on Monday, and video gaming on Wednesday. Andthose things would not have been nearly as fun and awesome had my love not been there. I don't know what I would do without him, he is the only thing holding me together right now.
I suppose that's all for now.
To start off with, my mom's car got repossessed a few days ago and she was told today that unless she pays about $1500 by the end of the month, they'll sell it. Obviously, we aren't getting it back. Add to that my dad's unemployment payments stop next week. Tuesday is when he'll get his last check, and we don't think they'll extend his benefits again since they already did it once. So we will be living on my mom's and my own part-time paychecks. I make about $130 a week, she makes around the same. We can't pay bills with that. We can't pay bills now with my dad's unemployment money coming in. We are extremely close to losing the house, and when that happens, I don't know what I'm going to do.
In addition to all of the stress going on at home, work has been hell this week. I had the most major markdown of the year, slippers and boots, which take up about 1/3 of my whole department. I had to mark everything down, and count it up, by myself. In 20 hours a week. In addition to ringing a register, cleaning half the store, maintaining my department, doing returns, price checks....it is impossible. My papaerwork was supposed to be finished and handed in by tonight and needless to say, it wasn't done. I broke down earlier, my shoe-boss felt bad for me. I was crying, blubbering, hyperventilating. She, surprisingly enough, realized I have anxiety. I guess her kids have it so she sympathized. It didn't make me feel any better about not getting shit done, though. No matter how much or how little work I have, I feel bad about not completing it. I feel like I'm not doing my job.
So this week has been just fucking peachy. The only highlights were the Ataris concert on Sunday (I met Kris Roe! *fangirly squee*), "Alice In Wonderland" on Monday, and video gaming on Wednesday. Andthose things would not have been nearly as fun and awesome had my love not been there. I don't know what I would do without him, he is the only thing holding me together right now.
I suppose that's all for now.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Long time no write...
Hey! My dashboard thingy says I haven't updated this since May 1st of last year (and that was just an ad for Green Day's last album, I haven't properly updated since long before that)! That is way too long, soooo much has happened since then, so I should probably update! I kinda want to delete everything else in here, and I just might, since it was all silly meaningless crap anyway. But I went back through and read some of it, and meh, I may keep it in here, if only because I'm too lazy to go through and manually delete stuff.
So, what has gone on with me? Let's see.
I've changed jobs, I left the library in October '08, and started as a cashier at Building 19 a few weeks before that. I've been there for nearly a year and a half, and now I run the shoe department. A thankless job, that is, but I'll put up with it until something better comes along. "I'm looking for the next best thing", to quote the fantastic Mr. Zevon. I've been to numerous concerts, far too many to mention. Namely, I saw my idol Billy Joel, finally, on July 28th of last year. He played with Elton John, and it was the most amazing night of my life so far.
I went on my first date in July, as well. Yes, first date ever, at 20 years old, because I am a loser. It was with a guy that I'd had a crush on since 9th grade. 7 years is a long time. He'd just graduated college and came back to RI, so we chatted via Facebook and whatnot. We went out a few times, and he was my first kiss (and second). We didn't see too much of each other in the 5 or so months we dated, and we decided that we are better off as friends because we want different things. He's a good guy, I wish him nothing but the best.
I went to Vermont for the week of my birthday to stay with my cousin Tiffany, she's been living up there for over a year now. It was so much fun! I miss her like hell, she is my best friend.
The best thing to happen to me last year (actually, probably the best thing ever) was the result of boredom. I like to go through Craigslist and laugh at the lame/weird/creepy personal ads. Well, I stumbled across one that sounded like it could've been written by me, it quoted lyrics, and oh it was just perfect! I debated with myself for over a week about whether or not to reply, and I decided to take the chance. It is the best thing I have ever done, because I met my amazing boyfriend Alex. My first boyfriend, and I hope that things work out and we can make it last. I don't know what I would do without him. He actually likes me, the way I am. With my severe self-esteem issues and social anxiety, I am not used to that. I don't think I deserve anyone half as wonderful as him, but I have fallen head over heels for him...I am probably just setting myself up to get hurt, but for once I don't mind taking the risk. He is worth everything. Everything seems to be going wrong in my life lately, but he is the one person I can depend on to be there for me, no matter what. I don't know why he wants to be with me, what he sees in me, but I guess I should shut up and enjoy it while it lasts! I have never been so happy in my entire life. Everyone I know has noticed a change in me! It's a bizzare thing, but wonderful. Just sitting with him, holding hands, not having to say anything...that is enough for me :D
So, all things considered, 2009 was very good to me. 2010 has been pretty great so far. Things coming up that I am particularly looking forward to: seeing the Ataris in concert (for the second time) next Sunday, a trip to Vermont with Alex in a few weeks, seeing Bon Jovi play at Gillette Stadium in July, and all of the fun things I will do with my friends. A new decade, a new beginning. I am going to make the next 10 years, and the remainder of this year in particular, something I'll always want to remember.
~*Eliza*~
So, what has gone on with me? Let's see.
I've changed jobs, I left the library in October '08, and started as a cashier at Building 19 a few weeks before that. I've been there for nearly a year and a half, and now I run the shoe department. A thankless job, that is, but I'll put up with it until something better comes along. "I'm looking for the next best thing", to quote the fantastic Mr. Zevon. I've been to numerous concerts, far too many to mention. Namely, I saw my idol Billy Joel, finally, on July 28th of last year. He played with Elton John, and it was the most amazing night of my life so far.
I went on my first date in July, as well. Yes, first date ever, at 20 years old, because I am a loser. It was with a guy that I'd had a crush on since 9th grade. 7 years is a long time. He'd just graduated college and came back to RI, so we chatted via Facebook and whatnot. We went out a few times, and he was my first kiss (and second). We didn't see too much of each other in the 5 or so months we dated, and we decided that we are better off as friends because we want different things. He's a good guy, I wish him nothing but the best.
I went to Vermont for the week of my birthday to stay with my cousin Tiffany, she's been living up there for over a year now. It was so much fun! I miss her like hell, she is my best friend.
The best thing to happen to me last year (actually, probably the best thing ever) was the result of boredom. I like to go through Craigslist and laugh at the lame/weird/creepy personal ads. Well, I stumbled across one that sounded like it could've been written by me, it quoted lyrics, and oh it was just perfect! I debated with myself for over a week about whether or not to reply, and I decided to take the chance. It is the best thing I have ever done, because I met my amazing boyfriend Alex. My first boyfriend, and I hope that things work out and we can make it last. I don't know what I would do without him. He actually likes me, the way I am. With my severe self-esteem issues and social anxiety, I am not used to that. I don't think I deserve anyone half as wonderful as him, but I have fallen head over heels for him...I am probably just setting myself up to get hurt, but for once I don't mind taking the risk. He is worth everything. Everything seems to be going wrong in my life lately, but he is the one person I can depend on to be there for me, no matter what. I don't know why he wants to be with me, what he sees in me, but I guess I should shut up and enjoy it while it lasts! I have never been so happy in my entire life. Everyone I know has noticed a change in me! It's a bizzare thing, but wonderful. Just sitting with him, holding hands, not having to say anything...that is enough for me :D
So, all things considered, 2009 was very good to me. 2010 has been pretty great so far. Things coming up that I am particularly looking forward to: seeing the Ataris in concert (for the second time) next Sunday, a trip to Vermont with Alex in a few weeks, seeing Bon Jovi play at Gillette Stadium in July, and all of the fun things I will do with my friends. A new decade, a new beginning. I am going to make the next 10 years, and the remainder of this year in particular, something I'll always want to remember.
~*Eliza*~
Friday, May 1, 2009
Sunday, September 7, 2008
I can't believe it's been 5 years already...
Five years ago today, the world lost one of it's most talented, diverse, and genius singer/songwriters. Mesothelioma took the life of the great Warren Zevon when he was just 56 years old. His song topics ran from war to love to gorillas stealing people's glasses, he could sing in more than 3 languages, his lyrics are sharply witty and so sarcastic, but he could also play the sweetest, most touching melodies. He could do rock, folk, country, a little celtic, he would add so many sounds to his music. No two of his songs ever sounded alike.
I wasn't a huge fan of Warren's until a little over a year ago, but "Werewolves Of London" has been one of my all-time favorite songs my whole life, and I remember watching VH1's documentary on him shortly before his death in 2003. I remember crying my eyes out when I heard that he had passed, even though he lasted almost a year longer than the three months his doctors gave him to live. In those last few months, he did the arguably most unselfish thing I've ever heard of: he resisted treatments so he could deliver a last album as a goodbye to all of his fans. I usually can't listen to that album, because the whole thing makes me bawl my eyes out, every single time, especially the last track: "Keep Me In Your Heart".
But I had to listen to it today, because I used my newly-acquired Windows Movie Maker to put together a tribute video in honor of the 5th anniversary of the passing of my idol, the one musician who can make me laugh and cry, think and learn, all with one song.
(this is my first video, so I would greatly appreciate some feedback, thanks!)
Warren was brilliant, a genius, there are really no other words for him. You cannot judge him on his one hit, which is pretty much one of his worst songs, comparing it lyrics- and music-wise to the rest of his song catalog. He has so many songs that could have been, should have been, successful. He is one of those people who truly deserved recognition. But he had one hell of a life. He is one person who couldn't say that he never enjoyed himself. He had fun while he was here, as his song goes "I'll sleep when I'm dead!"
Though he was, to steal another lyric, "too old to die young, and too young to die now", it's good that he's finally getting some well-deserved rest :D
Warren William Zevon
January 24, 1947 - September 7, 2003
----------------
Now playing: Warren Zevon - Desperados Under the Eaves
via FoxyTunes
I wasn't a huge fan of Warren's until a little over a year ago, but "Werewolves Of London" has been one of my all-time favorite songs my whole life, and I remember watching VH1's documentary on him shortly before his death in 2003. I remember crying my eyes out when I heard that he had passed, even though he lasted almost a year longer than the three months his doctors gave him to live. In those last few months, he did the arguably most unselfish thing I've ever heard of: he resisted treatments so he could deliver a last album as a goodbye to all of his fans. I usually can't listen to that album, because the whole thing makes me bawl my eyes out, every single time, especially the last track: "Keep Me In Your Heart".
But I had to listen to it today, because I used my newly-acquired Windows Movie Maker to put together a tribute video in honor of the 5th anniversary of the passing of my idol, the one musician who can make me laugh and cry, think and learn, all with one song.
(this is my first video, so I would greatly appreciate some feedback, thanks!)
Warren was brilliant, a genius, there are really no other words for him. You cannot judge him on his one hit, which is pretty much one of his worst songs, comparing it lyrics- and music-wise to the rest of his song catalog. He has so many songs that could have been, should have been, successful. He is one of those people who truly deserved recognition. But he had one hell of a life. He is one person who couldn't say that he never enjoyed himself. He had fun while he was here, as his song goes "I'll sleep when I'm dead!"
Though he was, to steal another lyric, "too old to die young, and too young to die now", it's good that he's finally getting some well-deserved rest :D
Warren William Zevon
January 24, 1947 - September 7, 2003
----------------
Now playing: Warren Zevon - Desperados Under the Eaves
via FoxyTunes
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