Today was a bad day. My life is stressing me out to the point where if I didn't have my amazing boyfriend, the one good thing in my life, I would probably kill myself.
To start off with, my mom's car got repossessed a few days ago and she was told today that unless she pays about $1500 by the end of the month, they'll sell it. Obviously, we aren't getting it back. Add to that my dad's unemployment payments stop next week. Tuesday is when he'll get his last check, and we don't think they'll extend his benefits again since they already did it once. So we will be living on my mom's and my own part-time paychecks. I make about $130 a week, she makes around the same. We can't pay bills with that. We can't pay bills now with my dad's unemployment money coming in. We are extremely close to losing the house, and when that happens, I don't know what I'm going to do.
In addition to all of the stress going on at home, work has been hell this week. I had the most major markdown of the year, slippers and boots, which take up about 1/3 of my whole department. I had to mark everything down, and count it up, by myself. In 20 hours a week. In addition to ringing a register, cleaning half the store, maintaining my department, doing returns, price checks....it is impossible. My papaerwork was supposed to be finished and handed in by tonight and needless to say, it wasn't done. I broke down earlier, my shoe-boss felt bad for me. I was crying, blubbering, hyperventilating. She, surprisingly enough, realized I have anxiety. I guess her kids have it so she sympathized. It didn't make me feel any better about not getting shit done, though. No matter how much or how little work I have, I feel bad about not completing it. I feel like I'm not doing my job.
So this week has been just fucking peachy. The only highlights were the Ataris concert on Sunday (I met Kris Roe! *fangirly squee*), "Alice In Wonderland" on Monday, and video gaming on Wednesday. Andthose things would not have been nearly as fun and awesome had my love not been there. I don't know what I would do without him, he is the only thing holding me together right now.
I suppose that's all for now.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Friday, March 12, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Long time no write...
Hey! My dashboard thingy says I haven't updated this since May 1st of last year (and that was just an ad for Green Day's last album, I haven't properly updated since long before that)! That is way too long, soooo much has happened since then, so I should probably update! I kinda want to delete everything else in here, and I just might, since it was all silly meaningless crap anyway. But I went back through and read some of it, and meh, I may keep it in here, if only because I'm too lazy to go through and manually delete stuff.
So, what has gone on with me? Let's see.
I've changed jobs, I left the library in October '08, and started as a cashier at Building 19 a few weeks before that. I've been there for nearly a year and a half, and now I run the shoe department. A thankless job, that is, but I'll put up with it until something better comes along. "I'm looking for the next best thing", to quote the fantastic Mr. Zevon. I've been to numerous concerts, far too many to mention. Namely, I saw my idol Billy Joel, finally, on July 28th of last year. He played with Elton John, and it was the most amazing night of my life so far.
I went on my first date in July, as well. Yes, first date ever, at 20 years old, because I am a loser. It was with a guy that I'd had a crush on since 9th grade. 7 years is a long time. He'd just graduated college and came back to RI, so we chatted via Facebook and whatnot. We went out a few times, and he was my first kiss (and second). We didn't see too much of each other in the 5 or so months we dated, and we decided that we are better off as friends because we want different things. He's a good guy, I wish him nothing but the best.
I went to Vermont for the week of my birthday to stay with my cousin Tiffany, she's been living up there for over a year now. It was so much fun! I miss her like hell, she is my best friend.
The best thing to happen to me last year (actually, probably the best thing ever) was the result of boredom. I like to go through Craigslist and laugh at the lame/weird/creepy personal ads. Well, I stumbled across one that sounded like it could've been written by me, it quoted lyrics, and oh it was just perfect! I debated with myself for over a week about whether or not to reply, and I decided to take the chance. It is the best thing I have ever done, because I met my amazing boyfriend Alex. My first boyfriend, and I hope that things work out and we can make it last. I don't know what I would do without him. He actually likes me, the way I am. With my severe self-esteem issues and social anxiety, I am not used to that. I don't think I deserve anyone half as wonderful as him, but I have fallen head over heels for him...I am probably just setting myself up to get hurt, but for once I don't mind taking the risk. He is worth everything. Everything seems to be going wrong in my life lately, but he is the one person I can depend on to be there for me, no matter what. I don't know why he wants to be with me, what he sees in me, but I guess I should shut up and enjoy it while it lasts! I have never been so happy in my entire life. Everyone I know has noticed a change in me! It's a bizzare thing, but wonderful. Just sitting with him, holding hands, not having to say anything...that is enough for me :D
So, all things considered, 2009 was very good to me. 2010 has been pretty great so far. Things coming up that I am particularly looking forward to: seeing the Ataris in concert (for the second time) next Sunday, a trip to Vermont with Alex in a few weeks, seeing Bon Jovi play at Gillette Stadium in July, and all of the fun things I will do with my friends. A new decade, a new beginning. I am going to make the next 10 years, and the remainder of this year in particular, something I'll always want to remember.
~*Eliza*~
So, what has gone on with me? Let's see.
I've changed jobs, I left the library in October '08, and started as a cashier at Building 19 a few weeks before that. I've been there for nearly a year and a half, and now I run the shoe department. A thankless job, that is, but I'll put up with it until something better comes along. "I'm looking for the next best thing", to quote the fantastic Mr. Zevon. I've been to numerous concerts, far too many to mention. Namely, I saw my idol Billy Joel, finally, on July 28th of last year. He played with Elton John, and it was the most amazing night of my life so far.
I went on my first date in July, as well. Yes, first date ever, at 20 years old, because I am a loser. It was with a guy that I'd had a crush on since 9th grade. 7 years is a long time. He'd just graduated college and came back to RI, so we chatted via Facebook and whatnot. We went out a few times, and he was my first kiss (and second). We didn't see too much of each other in the 5 or so months we dated, and we decided that we are better off as friends because we want different things. He's a good guy, I wish him nothing but the best.
I went to Vermont for the week of my birthday to stay with my cousin Tiffany, she's been living up there for over a year now. It was so much fun! I miss her like hell, she is my best friend.
The best thing to happen to me last year (actually, probably the best thing ever) was the result of boredom. I like to go through Craigslist and laugh at the lame/weird/creepy personal ads. Well, I stumbled across one that sounded like it could've been written by me, it quoted lyrics, and oh it was just perfect! I debated with myself for over a week about whether or not to reply, and I decided to take the chance. It is the best thing I have ever done, because I met my amazing boyfriend Alex. My first boyfriend, and I hope that things work out and we can make it last. I don't know what I would do without him. He actually likes me, the way I am. With my severe self-esteem issues and social anxiety, I am not used to that. I don't think I deserve anyone half as wonderful as him, but I have fallen head over heels for him...I am probably just setting myself up to get hurt, but for once I don't mind taking the risk. He is worth everything. Everything seems to be going wrong in my life lately, but he is the one person I can depend on to be there for me, no matter what. I don't know why he wants to be with me, what he sees in me, but I guess I should shut up and enjoy it while it lasts! I have never been so happy in my entire life. Everyone I know has noticed a change in me! It's a bizzare thing, but wonderful. Just sitting with him, holding hands, not having to say anything...that is enough for me :D
So, all things considered, 2009 was very good to me. 2010 has been pretty great so far. Things coming up that I am particularly looking forward to: seeing the Ataris in concert (for the second time) next Sunday, a trip to Vermont with Alex in a few weeks, seeing Bon Jovi play at Gillette Stadium in July, and all of the fun things I will do with my friends. A new decade, a new beginning. I am going to make the next 10 years, and the remainder of this year in particular, something I'll always want to remember.
~*Eliza*~
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